Maybe you’ve been in therapy for years, maybe you’re thinking about starting, or maybe you don’t think it’s for you at all. In any case, people have learned valuable lessons about how they view themselves, others, and the world around them through therapy. So Redditor Known-Dot-8314 asked, “What’s one thing you’ve learned in medicine that you think everyone should know?” Here’s what people have to say.
1.“Most people don’t hate you; they only care about themselves.”
2.“You can’t control other people’s actions, and you can’t presume to know their motives either. A simple example would be, ‘Jack always bangs his fingers on the desk to annoy me. He knows I hate that!’ The truth is unless Jack tells you that, you can’t tell if that’s his motivation, he’s doing it absent-mindedly, but it applies to a lot of things in our thinking.”
—OceanaMist
3.“Changing the words you use to think about yourself is powerful, even as an afterthought. For example: ‘I’m a piece of shit.’ Or, you might think, ‘I’m wrong, people do that.’
4.“Boundaries are about yourself, not others. Setting limits for others is called judgment.”
-gpky
5.“The importance of being kind to yourself. I used to struggle with negative self-talk. I always told myself that I was useless, a burden to others, and I hated myself. To get better, I had to start. positive self-talk, telling myself that I was good, loved, and confident, even if I didn’t believe it or was upset Finally, the negative self-talk stopped, and I began to believe in positive things.”
6.“How to say ‘I’m sorry’ and ‘I forgive you.’ I’m not talking about apologizing all the time, but a real apology. I grew up in a house with arguments but without even an apology. It was just a few days of silence, and soon everything came back and swept under the rug.”
7.“Setting boundaries isn’t selfish or selfish; it’s necessary for healthy relationships. Learning to say ‘no’ and protect your peace is one of the most empowering things you can do for yourself.”
– sharolynrenz
8.“The human brain was not designed to keep us happy. It was designed to keep us alive.”
9.“Think of The Spoons Analogy in terms of emotional power: Each day, you wake up with a certain number of spoons. You give one to your spouse, one to your work, one to your children, one to your friends, etc. But at the end of the day, you have to realize that you are only giving spoons to worthy people and keeping one spoon for themselves.
10.“Wounded people hurt people. If you don’t heal, you will be dangerous just like the people you knew were dangerous who couldn’t heal their wounds.”
-SlouchinTwrdsNirvana
11.“When the flight attendants give instructions about what to do in an emergency, they always say to put the mask on yourself, before putting it on the child. It’s a great reminder that helping others is not a big idea when you’re not there. I’m feeling good about you.”
12.“It’s better to do something stupid than to fail at all. So brushing your teeth for one minute is better than not doing it at all if you don’t do it for three full minutes. Washing your clothes but not putting them away is. to get things done and not feel bogged down by tasks I couldn’t start.”
13.“Self-care isn’t just about taking baths; it’s about doing what you need to maintain your mental health, even when it’s hard.”
14.“Don’t judge your feelings. Instead, try to understand where they are coming from. Control your behavior.”
—Peony_Twinklee
15.“Being ‘selfish’ is not necessarily bad or bad. It can be, but being selfish can also mean setting boundaries, saying ‘no’ more often, engaging in self-care, and more. Being selfish is sometimes necessary.”
16.“My therapist once said, ‘Your thoughts are wrong.’ That touched my heart because I think something doesn’t mean it’s true.
—ComfortableFinger354
17.“People forget and move on, so get rid of the shame of what happened years ago. You’re the only one who remembers.”
18.“If someone says something about you or has an opinion about you, it’s unlikely to be true. Even if that person loves you very much. My father would point out his mistakes on me, and I believed that I must be very bad because he did that. But it wasn’t about me ;
— Scullyxmulder1013
19.“The holy trinity of mental health is self-care: sleep, diet, exercise.” It was hard to accept this and get into the habit at first, but I don’t know where I wouldn’t have been. It was one of the first things my therapist brought up. He ‘prescribed’ 15 minutes of exercise a day during our first session, and it changed my perspective on mental health significantly. It doesn’t have to be running 15 miles a day, but if I don’t move my body in one place for 30 minutes a day, I feel guilty. Now, I look at exercise as something I do for my brain; its effect on my body is just a good side effect. And that makes it feel like less work, and it’s easier to maintain consistent behavior. “
20.“Healing doesn’t mean forgetting or forgiving what happened. It means learning to live without letting it control you. And part of that healing is accepting that you can’t control others – only how you react to them.”
— Chocolate
21.“Just because you’re upset doesn’t mean someone did something wrong.”
22.“A counselor at my university taught me that just because your anxiety tells you something is going to happen, that doesn’t make it true. Another way to illustrate this is to put a pen on the table, tell yourself that you will not be able to. pick it up, then do it anyway. It feels strange but it’s comforting to know that your thoughts don’t have as much influence on your life as you’d like to believe.”
What is the most important lesson you learned in therapy – something that really changed the way you think about or see yourself, others, and the world around you? Tell us in the comments or in this anonymous form.
Note: Articles have been edited for length and/or clarity.